LESSONS FROM LIVING WITH MY BOYFRIEND

From MUSED Magazine Online 

BY 
TUESDAY, MAY 28, 2013

livingbfUntil recently, few people actually knew I was in a relationship. This may be due to the fact that I hardly changed once I entered into one. For the first few years, I was still a huge flirt. It also could be due to the fact that I’m very private when it comes to love. I don’t put anything about my relationship on Twitter, Facebook, etc. It really isn’t anyone’s business, right?

Being in a relationship, I’m constantly surprised by how we’ve made it this far in a world of sluts and whores (no offense to anyone). I’m shocked at how happy we are and I’m even more stunned by how second nature our relationship is. Last year, we finally moved in together (I say finally because it took us three years), and after living with a significant other for over a year, I’ve learned a few things about relationships that I really hadn’t considered.

It’s important to say what’s on your mind. My man is a talker. He’s extremely outgoing and he loves to tell me stories. I can count on at least two long conversations every day, one right after work and one before bed. Moral of the story is, he has no problem saying what’s on his mind. I, on the other hand, can be much more silent. I don’t like when people ask me a millions questions and I refuse to talk to you while I’m watching my favorite show. Somehow, we make it through this. He knows when I tell him that he’s being too loud that I really mean “I’m trying to watch this so could you shut up?” And I know that when he continues to talk that he wants my undivided attention.

But you can’t be mean. Sometimes, I have to refrain from telling him that he’s already told me this story six times and that I’m sick to death of hearing it. And I’m sure he wants to tell me that the video game I’m playing is stupid compared to what he has to say. Or when I’m trying to sleep and he’s banging on his computer or phone and the light is bothering my eyes, I have to refrain from saying in a smart ass way, “why can’t you go into the living room?!”

Sometimes you get too comfortable. Love isn’t always romantic. Like, 9 times out of 10, there is no romance whatsoever. People like to post pictures on Facebook and Instagram of happy moments. But let me tell you, nothing really goes as planned. You miss reservations, get caught in storms, argue in public, get drunk and fall asleep on mass transit, forget concert tickets at home and argue over who will wash the dishes and do laundry. That’s life.

You start to find the smallest things romantic. There’s something about coming home and he’s brought you a red velvet cupcake because you had a rough day. Or staying in drinking wine all night while you watch really bad Netflix movies like “Leave It On the Floor.” Or debating about which of the “Real Housewives” is better than the other, or refusing to watch “Game of Thrones” without the other. Sometimes life is when we’re lying in bed playing game after game of FunRun.

Life really does change though. And I don’t mean in an oh-I-don’t-have-time-to-hang-out-with-my-friends type of change. More like I’m going to buy this gross lime ice cream because he likes it.Suddenly, all of your discussions include him. Some may see this as a burden, but in reality you really don’t think about it all that much. You’ll be at a restaurant and you don’t even think about ordering those fattening nachos because he doesn’t like guacamole or black beans.

There are, however, a lot of things that don’t change. Hopefully you find someone that likes all the weird shit you do. I’m not the only one who likes to drink wine, eat greasy pizza or Chinese food out the box while watching old episodes of “Sex and the City” or “Roseanne” in my underwear. Apparently, I’m not the only one who likes to recite random quotes from “The Color Purple” and “Mean Girls” as they pertain to everyday life. And thank God, I’m not the only who understands the importance of bottomless mimosas, afternoon naps and documentaries.

Some things are hard for no reason. Even though there are two people in the house now, the tedious things of life never really get easier. Remembering to do laundry, pick up clothes from the dry cleaners and cleaning is still tough. As a unit, you’ll still forget to grocery shop, you’ll still forget to pay a bill and you will constantly run out of lube.

But no worries, it’s all a learning process. Luckily you’ll have great partner to make this journey with.

This post originally appeared on MUSED Magazine Online. Republished with permission.

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