An Open Letter to Mother’s w/ Adult Children

black-man-with-his-motherThis has been a particularly stubborn topic for me for a while now and since writing is my outlet, I’ve decided to make it an open letter. Almost 25 years into my life and I’ve learned more about myself in the past year than I thought was possible in such a short time. The 3 most important are:

I’m not as open-minded to authority figures as I was a few years ago

Having that HNIC above you when you’re still learning about the world is cool. They give you the necessary guidance at that stage. Once you’ve hit a certain age, and the need for that type of guidance passes, words are enough to split the hair in your eyebrows and the phrase “Ok (Insert HNIC title here)” just becomes unsatisfactory.

I am a creature of habit, I’ve set my own values and I’m stuck in my ways

Once I came from under those reigns held by mom and began the process of becoming a respectable student of life, I started to shy away from the habits & values of that household and began to establish my own. Once they were in place, there was no turning back.

I’m actually an adult, with adult problems and an adult attitude

When I first moved out of my mom’s house, I sure didn’t know what to do. I was 17 and on my way to college. I came back after only a few months stay because I became financially stuck (the start of my adult problems) and moved back in with my mom. I quickly realized that just those few months away (without family supervision), gave me a huge helping of “I can do whatever I want” syndrome (and here’s the start of the attitude). I moved back out and for the next 5 years, began to conduct and command my adulthood.

Now what am I getting at?

Last year was a rough time for me, from start to finish. My mom, being a mom, offered me peace of mind, but at a cost. We were to resume our earlier roles, where I’m a naïve 17-year-old and she was the ALL SUPREME HBIC, which she was… but I wasn’t. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t her intention, but I came to realize that this was expected. After all, she is my mother. I realized this early on and I gave fair warning about it when I did. Let’s just say, there was a 4 month gap in our Mother/Son relationship. We only managed to say “Hey” within that time, sadly. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE & will ALWAYS LOVE my mother with every fiber of my being, but there’s just some things that mother’s can no longer have control over once their child reaches a certain age and maturity.

I will probably speak for an entire generation of people my age, who haven’t royally f****d up their lives or worse, does nothing with them. We know you have all the best intentions in the world, but you have to know when to let go. We will always come to you for help when we need it. You will always be mommy. Now it’s time to realize and be content with who you’ve taught us to be. It’s time for you to sit back, relax, and watch us develop into that better person through experience. Watch that first wishful thought of us having a better life than what you had, come to fruition.

We know how hard it is for you. We may not understand fully, until we’ve had children of our own (not for those of us with children already) but we get it. You should know by now that WE GET IT. It’s not hard to figure out a mother’s purpose, once we’re of age. Now relax your pretty little head moms. Let us do the thinking now.

You’ve taught us well.




#RespectTheCraft or Nah?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s